All we want are the facts, ma’am: Horticulture crime drama, episode 2

Plant Code 2447B: “Subjecting Plants to Embarrassment”:

Think about it. What if all the other bougainvilleas on the block looked like plants, and you had to look like an Apollo space capsule.

Detective Billy Goodnick is on the case, and pruning crimes are his specialty.

Ok, we northerners will have to swap out the bougainvilleas (jealous!) for some shrub that actually grows here, but the spirit of the crime against horticulture is the same.

Lookout you “people perpetrating pointlessly pitiful pruning on peaceful plants”, the plant police are coming for you and your pruning shears. In my dreams.

Gardening: More fun with guns

This has to be the ultimate expression of redneck gardening.

…there’s a new way to sow your seeds: blasting them into the soil with a 12-gauge.

Flower Shell is a shotgun shell filled with flower seeds that will produce anything from daisies to sunflowers to poppies to meadow flowers.

Yes, you too can plant a garden without shifting your backside off the rocking chair on your veranda. The developer claims the shotgun shells really work and says of his planting efforts – with pride:

This flourishing field was my creation, it was all done with 142 shotgun shells.

LINK: For extreme gardeners, shotgun shells full of seed

Gardening as an extreme sport

Remember the orchid collectors who were kidnapped back in 2000 by Columbian guerillas? One of them, Tom Hart Dyke, is returning to the country where he was held hostage for 9 months.

Tom recalled the day his captors announced that he would be killed,

Tom spent his ‘final day’ designing a dream garden that contained plants he’d collected from across the globe.

His determination to garden against all odds drove his captors crazy:

It was perhaps Tom’s jungle antics that made his captors glad to see the back of him.

“Building gardens in the mountains was much to the annoyance of our kidnappers,” said Tom.

Now if this isn't gardening as an extreme sport, I don't know what is.

Read the article: Orchid hunter Tom Hart Dyke returns to Colombia 14 years after guerrillas kidnapped him in Darien Gap region

I prefer my bushes natural, thanks

Screen Shot 2014-04-24 at 5.12.18 PMA botanical graffiti artist continues to shock the grey-haired set at the riverfront park in Windsor, Ontario. Honestly, when I saw what he did to that shrub my first thought was “bravo”. Up with the revolution! Go natural! Shaving Trimming Shearing shrub balls is the real vandalism here.

The City of Windsor’s executive director of parks and facilities, John Miceli, said:

Well, it’s unfortunate that they don’t use their talents with our Adopt a Park program. We could really use their skills, because they’re very, very good, whoever’s doing it, at being able to, uh, shape things.

Read on: Windsor’s phallus-obsessed bushwacker strikes again: Guerrilla gardener writes ‘penis’ with shrubs

Bugs happen when you garden

I love this man's (Mr. Brown Thumb) attitude toward gardening. In this article he talks about letting parasitic wasps have their evil way with tomato hornworms. He says, "Bugs happen when you garden":

My absolute favorite method of controlling hornworms on my tomato plants is to save a few of these caterpillars and let nature take its course. Pull the hornworm from your plants and place it inside a jar or plastic bottle without a lid to allow for ventilation. Every couple of days add a few tomato cuttings to the container to allow the caterpillar to continue to eat. And then sit back and watch as the hornworm is eaten from the inside by the pupating parasitic wasps. It's so disgusting, but it's so much fun to watch.

Read on: Tomato Hornworms and Parasitic Wasps

Alberta ‘pot’ turns out to be late-blooming daisies

This article brought me out of my blog slumber.

Alberta ‘pot’ seized by police was late-blooming daisies

Please don’t smoke the daisies.

It turns out that more than 1,600 suspected marijuana plants that a special police squad ripped out of a yard in Lethbridge, Alberta this summer are a species of daisy.

The bust, which was announced with fanfare in July, has homeowner Ryan Thomas Rockman scratching his head over the confusion. Just the same he’s happy the Alberta Law Enforcement Response Team (ALERT) has dropped the charge of producing a controlled substance.

My first thought: 1600 plants!! Man, that must have been a beautiful display. I’d go ballistic if that were my garden. My second thought: Daisies? For cripes sakes, how do daisies get confused with marijuana plants? Those cops really need to spend more time in gardens looking at plants – not pulling them out.